A Musing #1

Don’t call it a comeback. I know what you’re thinking reading a post from me again. “Here we go. He’s going to tell us he’s back and going to keep us informed on his shenanigans regularly. What a poser. Let’s go to the mall” Yes, it’s still the 90’s for me.

Anyways, Life has been some sort of something to say it some kind of way. After I left off here, I was back in Florence and preparing for my move to France. I was creating and painting again after being in Canada for so long. There wasn’t a need to write because I felt very displaced. I could have written my thoughts down but I chose to let them sit inside so I can really understand what I was experiencing. My blog has been a place where I can dump all my ramblings and ideas, yet this time I wanted to hold on to everything. I didn’t want to run out of anything. I didn’t want to give more than I already had during these long months of waiting and moving. I was there for me and needed to be selfish about it. A year later, here I am now wanting to share who I am now.

I wouldn’t say I’m enlightened like some monk, but I am more in tune with where I want to go and be with my work. Something about going through lawyers and organizing immigration work really makes you think about why I’m still here. The system I’ve entered to be in Paris and finally start working has not be easy on me, yet I’m still here. I never asked myself “how bad do you want this?” or any other quotes from popular sports brand commercials. There were windows open for me to drop it all and go back home, but I’ve never been a fan of the outdoors. I stayed in it. There’s no question when it comes to what I want to be. Even though I’ve felt vacant at many times during this journey, I’m an artist ready to create. I’ll sit through hours of waiting in government offices so I can work again. Those hours are now finally paying off as I have signed my new contract for my own studio and gallery space. The wait is coming to an end.

I’m still here.