A Musing #41

The previous 48 hours have been a bit rough. I don’t want to be a Basic Becky and say I got the blues because of weather and season changes. I’ve been blue. Don’t worry, I’m feeling much better but I do want to talk about it. For all you creatives out there who get in to mental rough patches, I want to tell you it’s okay. Believe me when I tell you that I know how tough it can be to manage and also keep it together around others. Part of the artist gig is being social when you just want to stay in and mellow out in silence.

I find myself being bombarded with messages from friends asking “Are you okay?” every time I post up a new self portrait. You guys are all so sweet and I’m sending you plenty of heart emojis because I’m a fucking millennial. My portraits are a form of research but also serve as a form of therapy. I’d even send myself a message if I didn’t know any better after seeing one of my portraits. The word “joyful” doesn’t come to mind when trying to sum up the mood of my oil based selfies. I paint how I feel in the moment.

It’s okay to vent and have rough days. Being an artist, I try to pour it out in my work and make use of all that negative energy instead of bottling it up inside. My advice to all you creatives out there is to do the same. Who cares what the result is going to be and just get it out. Even if you can’t create about it, set a timer for 5-10 minutes and talk it out to yourself like you’re the host of your very own “this is bullshit because…” podcast.

That’s all I really have to say today. Moral of this story is to keep in mind that no matter how positive we may be, we are allowed to have negative moments. It’s only natural. Everything is going to be okay.