A Musing #65
Christmas is a strange time of year. No, this is not a post where I’m going to turn into The Grinch. I feel very much in my own world because if it wasn’t for all the decorations around town, I wouldn’t even realize what month it is. French people aren’t carolling but we have riots though. That balances everything out. Nothing makes me feel more festive than seeing boarded up businesses and people running around in neon green vests.
Over the years I’ve developed weird emotions regarding the holiday season. Mainly because I’ve spent a majority of them alone. On the bright side, I get to work more on my paintings. Hearing all my friends give me the rundown of their plans and family events makes me happy and excited for them, but there’s a slight tug of sadness in the back of my mind. Regardless if you celebrate the holidays or not, it’s not a great feeling. All the advertisements and pressures that this is the time of year everyone is with their loved ones weighs you down when you’re alone. I’m not the only one. I find myself thinking of all the other people who have lost family members or have broken relationships that will never be able to share any holidays together. They’re the brave ones who make through December of every year. I see you. You’re in my thoughts all the time.
Interviewers always ask me “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” Yes, museums and galleries for sure. I’m not worried about all that. I think one thing I would want is to have a giant tree of my own. The ones that look like they belong in the Lord Of The Rings movies minus the walking and talking aspects. Decorate that sucker up like a pine scented triangular disco ball and invite everyone over. It’ll be great. Until then, I’ll be working to make it happen.
This isn’t a pity party post. I don’t want you feeling bad for me and start writing me messages about it. If you’re going to do something, extend an invite to those around you. That person who doesn’t talk about their plans. It’s the quiet ones that hide it all away. Believe me that just the offer makes a whole world of difference. Solitude is one thing, but no one should have to feel lonely during this time of the year. One day I’ll have my huge tree along side my giant table and there’ll be always be a place for you.
