A Musing #76

It’s been a very rough month emotionally if I’m going to be honest. My smallest life companion passed away and I can’t say I’ve kept it together well. All the emotions of sadness, loneliness, and fear have crashed over me in waves. Saying goodbye to your little critter hurts. She’s family. Thats the bottom line. It sucks. She’s in a better place with her partner in crime and I know I’ll see them again. The world feels darker most days since she’s left. I know I’ll be okay, but words can’t describe how much I miss my Buttons.

As time goes on, more so this year, I’ve had an aversion to taking photos of myself. I question if it has to do with the self portrait series or just feeling low since the new year. Please understand when I write this, it isn’t a pity party or crying for help. Ever since I’ve been honest with myself and others regarding my emotion state, I feel it’s important to show readers that life isn’t just a high light reel. Events happen that makes us feel not so great and that’s part of life. I’m not an influencer where I’m going to curate my presences to have you believe this whole journey has been sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows.

Art wise, I’ve been focusing more on my religious series and it’s been gaining more traction. Doing my part with my platform to protest against unjust internet limitations. There hasn’t been the need to look int the mirror lately and paint, but I do miss painting others. Due to size limitations, it’s tough to do that in my temporary studio. We do what we can with what we have. Patience and embracing are the two major lessons. I know I’ll regulate myself with time and so will you. There are just some chapters in our books we can’t skip as hard as it is to get through each word on the page.