A Musing #79
I have no idea how you guys feel, but I’ll never risk the health of others or my own by joining a protest because I want a haircut. Just because you’re bored of quarantine doesn’t mean it’s all over. Seriously, stay home. Stay the fuck home. It’s a pain in the ass and it’s not easy. We’re living in a very bizarre state where part of us are terrified and the other part is relaxed at the same time. However you’re feeling right now, I hope you and your loved ones are doing alright.
Ive picked back up on Sam during this isolation period. After painting so many naughty bits continuously, I really needed to see something familiar and who am I if I’m not painting portraits? Coming back to a piece after such a long time is interesting. You don’t realize how much you’ve changed and evolved in a short period of time. Whatever mindset I had while starting Sam acts more as a clue and I’m playing detective. This isn’t a bad thing, but more of a new challenge I’ve never really faced. Believe me when I say I had a lot of “What the fuck was I thinking?” moments as I was fixing technical errors and tidying the canvas up. I’m still in the process of that right now despite it being a month of work. The whole time consuming thing does create unwanted anxiety which all creatives get hit with. I’m talking about the irrational belief I’m not creating enough despite working on 4 things at a time. There are days I feel I’m useless and I worry that a piece is taking too long, but I have to ground and remind myself great things take time. My work. My speed. Productivity doesn’t dictate value and the same goes for you.
As much as it’s a meme, once the confinement period comes to an end I think I’ll be working inside still. Nothing really changes for artists. I did ramble on in my previous posts about what I thought of the state of the world and I’d like to restate one thing. We and the rest of the news have been referring to essential workers as heroes. I agree that all of them have been keeping things together and really saving people’s lives during all of this, but they’re not getting proper benefits from their bosses. No pay increase, no hazard coverage, no extra vacation, etc. Whole Foods just gave them t-shirts. This makes them more like hostages because they have their own bills to pay and they have no choice but to work. So please keep that in mind now and after this is all over. Normal wasn’t working before and there’s a lot that needs to change after all this.
