A Musing #71

It’s been a long minute since I’ve posted anything, so hello again.  There’s been a lot of on going changes happening in my life since June and I feel I’m ready to finally write about it properly. Oh don’t worry, it’s nothing traumatic. It’s change. One thing I can tell you about change is that regardless of it being planned or not, it takes you by surprise. It’s always complicated to go through.

I know longer have the Atelier and it was due to reasons outside of my control. Of course it sucks, but at the end of the day it’s for the best. I was stuck in a very toxic situation regarding landlords and it was impacting my life for months on end and causing me to lose focus on my art. Most people wouldn’t even dare speak about something like this publicly, let alone post it online. We only see highlight reels and not the setbacks and low points that come with success. As I’ve grown up, I no longer see the point in hiding things like this. My story will be someone’s survival guide.

You can’t paint away all your problems unfortunately. We all have our realities to face and they aren’t always easy on the eyes. For a person to advance, your environment needs to change. You can’t expect to go somewhere new while staying in the exact same spot. These previous months have allowed me to finally take  a break and digest what’s been going on. Regardless of it being for the best, there’s always that chunk of pride that gets stuck in your throat. You don’t want to cough more than you have to incase it’ll draw attention to yourself. The feeling of failure and picturing yourself behind in life is beyond dreadful. Assuming all this mental weight on yourself is rough especially when you’re the one who put it there. I followed my own advice and spoke about it and I’ve been beyond lucky to have the group of friends who have been by my side.

I don’t have my gallery up and running right now. I’m displaced and don’t know what’s going to happen 30 minutes from now. The one thing I do know is I’m a lucky and persistant son of a bitch. Armando Cabba did not come this far to only make it this far. Destinations don’t have expiration dates. As someone who has fallen down many times in his life, remember to get a good look at the view from down there. We tend to miss the important details from up top.