A Musing #73

I’d like to begin by saying I’m incredibly impressed with myself for never writing a rant in full caps-lock on this blog. Thats a very big deal for me especially if you’ve ever met me in person. Anyways, I’m back in Paris and conference season is over.  Life is resuming to what it usually is at this moment in time. The definitions of normality are not what they were before. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but more of a reminder that life moves into the future.

Canadian Portrait Prize happened and I’m happy I was a part of it. A few posts ago I wrote about artist reactions to competitions. Cool if you win, “meh” if you don’t. The bottom line is competitions don’t define your worth as an artist. I suggest everyone to enter if they can, but remind yourself that your value as a creator isn’t measured solely on one event/show. Even if I go my entire life without winning a single prize or trophy, that doesn’t mean I’m not great. I explained my story as the expat runaway who finally got acknowledged by his own country. At the end of the day, that’s what I cherish the most. If I can do it, there’s so many of you out there who can do the same. I’m a loudmouth with a brush in a very weird spot in life. Who wouldn’t believe in you?

So I’m going to keep going this week or month or whatever measurement of time. Ever since I began my self portrait adventure, these posts feel more and more redundant. What makes painting tough at the moment is being too deep in your emotions. There’s too much to feel and experience before you can properly translate it on canvas. I enjoy the stable times for creating because I have something to latch myself onto. I’m anchored and I know I’ll always come back. For now, I’m floating at sea. Looking down into the water waiting to see fragments of sand bringing me home to sanity.